February 2008


Dedication: To brother Gabriel who speaks up really well mashaAllah. Thanks for InSpIRinG me to write more assertively. Jazakallah Khair.

YO COACH, you said I was one of the crowd

I belonged to the club–I BELONGED!

YO COACH, you gave me hope when I had almost died

Lit the light to the dark corridors where I stood ALONE

I will learn from you Coach, as Best as I CouLD

I will SURPASS you in stamina, skill and fortitude

I WILL–I promised to Myself and to You

But Alas! I was wrong, Alas! yet AGAIN

About your motives, your promises and YOU

What was the reason for this? My weakness or yours?

That took you away from REASON, in those claws of Horror

You changed into a monster, I never saw before

And CLAWED at me, I say WHAT FOR?

Another assiduous pupil left SCARRED, yet AGAIN

Tut! I have fallen yet again, crumbled under the arid sky

For trusting OTHERS so INNOCENTLY; but oh why, just why?

Broken, marred, torn; I reminded myself ResoluTelY

To LET zelf * stand back up, strongly AND more FirMlY

Because, fallen ones are easily treaded upon, yes that’s the NorM

But the ones Standing will prevail, in any given StorM

FOREVER! So buck up, chin up, smile and FIGHT Once AgaiN

*This Dutch word stands for “Myself”. I thought it would be creative to use it here. I just know bits and pieces of Dutch, so I used Babel Fish Translator to help me out.


Blind Alley

Standing

Waiting

Are you there?

Why is it so dark here?

Is tomorrow the same as today?

The constant ringing

A click

And then silence

Chin in her hands

She sat silently

Pondering

Praying

Is tomorrow the same as today?

Peace and Blessings everyone

Today a troubling yet interesting conversation took place in our kitchen. I have paraphrased it since I don’t recall the exact wording.

Brother: Mom, you know the militants killed Pakistan’s top Surgeon. What a waste! Killing such an intelligent person like this.

Mom: He was in one of classes while I studied Medicine in Pakistan. He was always proved to be a helpful, resourceful and kind person.

Me: (shockingly look up from the stove where I was heating some water for my green tea)

Brother: Its Jihad mom. They will kill each other. They think they do it for God.

Mom: (sounding more hurt) Its not Jihad. Don’t link it to Islam like this.

Me: (swallowed a bit of disgust and repulsion I felt at brother’s comment while keeping quite in order to listen to the conversation)

Brother: That’s what they call it. Its their ideology. They think its Jihad. Differences between our and their ideology don’t matter. (I could smell the vomit of disgust that was welling up inside him)

Mom: Then stick with your ideology and don’t mix things up. This is not Jihad.

Me: Dude, man its not Jihad, already :-)

Brother: (very quiet; its as if he understood something amid all this confusion)

I wanted to say more. To go in more depth. Tell him what Islam teaches us about Jihad. But I couldn’t. What was the reason for my silence? Perhaps he was hurting and whatever I say won’t make much difference? Perhaps, I felt I won’t be able to communicate properly to him.

Taking a deep breath, I held in all the emotions, agony and pain. I left the kitchen in a hurry. Mom was hurt again. Brother felt confused and angry. I needed to think, to calm down. Everyone is hurt, I know that. What can I do to help out? Wait, Arzoo, what do you know about this situation. Who killed whom, why? So, I pulled up the article online.

Pakistan Surgeon General Killed

Posted Feb 25, 08 10:15 PM CST in World

Source: Associated Press

(newser) – Pakistan’s surgeon general was killed today by a suicide bomber who blew himself up at a busy intersection in the city of Rawalpindi. Lt. Gen. Mushtaq Ahmad Baig, his driver and his guard were killed, the Washington Post reports; Baig was the highest-ranking military officer to be killed in attacks by militants in recent years.. Five other people died, and 20 were injured. Three children’s aid workers were killed in a separate attack. Yesterday a top Taliban leader, Baitullah Mehsud, sent word that his group is prepared to negotiate with a new Pakistani government±— if President Pervez Musharraf is out of the equasion—to end hostilities. And if he’s not, the group theatened to escalate hostilities. “We want to make it clear to those politicians who are going to form the next government not to impose war on us, otherwise we will retaliate vigorously,” a spokesman said in an interview.”

Source: Pakistan Surgeon General Killed

I can’t quite say what my emotions are at this moment, after reading this. All I have is this odd need to type it all down and tell the world the truth. A part of me is asking me, mocking me almost, what good will it do huh? Perhaps having a fight on my hand will keep me occupied amid this hatred and confusion. Perhaps that’s all I need or perhaps I want something more. So today, I will fight for some clarity and understanding; just because I couldn’t stand the sadness in my mom’s gentle voice.

After doing a bit of reading, I found the following.

There are three kinds of Jihad in Islam.

1. With the heart (intentions or feelings),
2. With the hand (weapons, etc.),
3. With the tongue (speeches, etc., in the cause of Allah.)

Since I am not well versed in the fiqh of Jihad, I will quote from different articles from here on and add some annotations (in red):

It is well known how the Messenger (pbuh) was fighting (fighting here means telling them about the One God, stopping them from oppressing people etc. Here, jihad means fighting one’s inner self, fighting with one’s tongue and finally, if required, fighting physically. Continue reading to see how the first “physical Jihad” was allowed by God) against al-Mushrikeen(and all those who ascribe partners with Allah (s.w.t.) since Allah, the Most Respectful, the All Majestic (The One God) sent him and honored him with the Messengership till Allah caused him to die and selected for him what was with Him (Paradise and all that is good).

The Prophet (pbuh) used to visit the people in their gatherings during season days (Hajj and Umra) and other days (too). He used to go to their market places, recite the Qur’an, invite them to Allah, the Most Respectful, the All Majestic. He used to say, “Who will give me a safe shelter, and who will support me till I convey the Message of my Lord (Allah) then he will have Paradise.” But he would not find anyone to support him or to give him a safe shelter.

He (Prophet Muhammad pbuh ) carried on his mission of inviting people to Allah and persisted in (this) invitation for 13 years inspite of the harm and injuries (which he suffered), and he used to forgive the ignorant… in order that Allah’s Proof be established against them (disbelievers) and that His Promise be fulfilled to them (disbelievers) which He assured them with His Statement of the Quran:

And We never punish until We have sent a Messenger (to give warning) (V. 17:15).

The people continued in their transgression, they did not take guidance from the manifest proof. The Quraish (people) oppressed and harmed all those who followed him (Muhammad pbuh) from his tribe, put them to trials and afflictions in order to keep them away from their religion (Islam), even to the extent that they exiled them from their homeland, some of them fled to Ethiopia, some went to Al-Madina while some remained patient ( at Makka ) in spite of the harm they received; by being imprisoned, made to suffer from hunger and thirst and by being beaten (in a horrible manner)… so much so that some of them were not able to sit straight from the severity (of the injuries) of the beatings.

They used to tie a rope around the neck of Bilal (may Allah be pleased with him) and give the end of that rope in the hands of boys to play and drag him through the pathways of Makka …. And as to what Yasir’s family suffered from the torrnent was beyond what a normal human being can endure.

The Quraish (people) harmed Allah’s Messenger (Muhammad pbuh) (too), they besieged him in AshShi’b, once ‘Uqbah bin Abi Mu’ait tried to strangle him and he kept on squeezing the Prophet’s clothes round his neck till the eyes of the Prophet pbuh bulged out, and Abu Bakr rushed at ‘Uqbah and released the Prophet pbuh from him and said, “Would you kill a man because he says: My Lord is Allah Ta’ala?”

Abu Jahl also tried to kill the Messenger (pbuh) while the latter was in prostration (bowing) praying in the al Masjid Al Haram, he carried a huge stone to throw it on the Prophet’s (pbuh) head. But when he (Abu Jahl) tried to throw it he turned on his heels full of fear and fright saying:”I am being prevented (going near) from Muhammad by a huge stallion camel intending to swallow me.” (God sent a vision to scare him off)

(So, this man, Mohammad preached the message of Oneness of God for thirteen years while he, his family, friends, relatives, well-wishers, followers were abused, tortured and ridiculed. I believe, they were all very patient and wise people.)

And when Allah, The Most Exalted, wanted to reveal His religion (Islam) and to fulfill His Promise and to make victorious His Prophet (pbuh) Allah, the Most High ordered him to emigrate to Al-Madina. So he stayed there and Allah supported him with His Victory and with His slaves, the faithful believers-the Islamic army unit composed of different sorts of people (black, white, and red). (Here the victory came from just preaching and talking about Islam, educating free minds and providing them answers as they sought to understand. The word slaves refers to the people who became muslims and vowed to spread the message of Islam like Mohammad did.) They strove hard for him with all their efforts, and preferred his love to the love of (their) fathers, offspring and wives.

Muhammad, upon him be peace, was closer to them (believers) than their own selves. The “(pagan) Arabs” and “Jews” both were against Mohammad had formed a united front against them (Muhammad pbuh and his followers) and had put up all their efforts of enmity, standing and fighting against them… and (in fact) they shouted against them from every corner. Then, at that time Allah permitted them (Muhammad pbuh and his followers) the (Jihad) fighting but He did not make it obligatory.

(Note, that the  jihad against “pagan Arabs” and “Jews” was not due to their religious identity but it was allowed because they chose to oppress other people. And that is the basic reason for starting any form of “jihad”, to prevent against oppression of any sort. For instance, a Muslim woman who speaks out in a country that attempts to oppress her, is considered to be in a state of “jihad”.)

A verse of the Quran was then revealed:

Permission to fight is given to those (i.e. believers against disbelievers) who are fighting them (and) because they (believers) have been wronged, and surely Allah is Able to give them (believers) victory.

Those who have been expelled from their homes unjustly only because they said:”Our Lord is Allah.” (V.22:39,40).

(So, we see that God allowed an actual physical Jihad occurred only after 13 years of torture and oppression of the Muslims in Makkah. This is because God is Merciful. He wanted to give full chance to the people of Makkah to either accept Islam (after careful analysis and critique) or come to peaceful terms with the Muslims.

Remember that carrying out a physical Jihad, means following certain guidelines. See below.)

Source: Sahih Muslim

Caliph Abu Bakr (Allah be pleased with him) gave to his army while sending her on the expedition to the Syrian borders is permeated with the noble spirit with which the war in Islam is permitted. He said:

“Stop, O people, that I may give you ten rules for your guidance in the battlefield. Do not commit treachery or deviate from the right path. You must not mutilate dead bodies. Neither kill a child, nor a woman. nor an aged man. Bring no harm to the trees, nor burn them with fire, especially those which are fruitful. Slay not any of the enemy’s flock. save for your food. You are likely to pass by people who have devoted their lives to monastic services; leave them alone”

Book 019, Number 4320, Sahih Muslim:

It is narrated by Ibn ‘Umar that a woman was found killed in one of these battles; so the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) forbade the killing of women and children.

Based on these rules, these suicide bombings violate the rule of Jihad as outlined in Islam since innocent (including children) were killed, bodies were disfigured, nature was harmed and a learned man capable of saving many lives was killed etc.

So, I have my answer. Jihad isn’t a bad thing. It’s self defense. Sometimes, one needs to defend oneself from the inner evil (self-jihad), other times one need to defend one’s viewpoint via education, discussion (jihad of the tongue, writing), yet other times one needs to act in self defense (physical jihad).

Tell me what would you do if someone killed your favorite uncle and chewed his heart just to mock you? Wouldn’t you want this murderer to go to hell, serve forever in jail, be killed in a car accident, burn in hell forever, etc. Guess what Prophet Mohammad did when this was done to his uncle. After the conquest of Makkah, the woman who chewed Mohammad’s uncle’s heart was brought to him as a prisoner of war. What did Mohammad do? Did he avenge his loving uncle’s death? Nay, he FORGAVE her right there, just like that. Yes, Jihad is only Jihad if the above ten guidelines are followed and obeyed; but don’t forget that Forgiveness Is Divine.

If you like, you may do further readings at the following sites:

Jihad. Written by Sister Shaheeda

Jihad in the Quran and Sunnah. Written by: Sheikh Abdullah

Kitab-ul-Jihad. Translation of Sahih Muslim, Book 19

So, people don’t grow Islamophobic or follow the media blindly when they go around labeling Muslims as terrorist or use the words “Islamic Jihad” out of context. Research the truth and stick to it inshaallah.

And Allah Knows Best. Signing off for today. Stay safe everyone.

Take care

So, the surveys were completed and my sister managed to write an excellent essay on “Oppression of Women in the Workforce”. 

Kindly view here.

———————————————————————————–

This survey is meant only for the ladies. I hope the guys help out by distributing it to the “qualified” ladies they know.

Kindly view this site.

Glass Ceiling Effect

My younger sister Ayesha who is doing her specialized honours in Psychology at York University, needs 10 more responses to her survey. She got 90 responses so far, and needs a total of 10 more. So, please fill out this 10 minute survey about glass ceiling effect in the Canadian workforce as directed towards women.

The eligibility criterion is as follows:

  1. Female
  2. Have some Canadian work experience. Don’t have to be a Canadian citizen
  3. Age, 18 and above

If you qualify, then kindly assist this young student in her learning experience by taking this 110% anonymous survey.

Thank you so very much for reading this

HuMBLeD

Take care

Kind Regards

I used to be a coffee person. I had to have at least 2-3 large coffee everyday or my brain just won’t function. However, I was aware of the fact that I should try minimizing coffee intake because its not that healthy. For instance, high level of caffeine makes the bones softer, hence increasing the risk of osteoporosis. This is especially significant if one’s family has a history of osteoporosis. Having a family history of any disease, makes it more likely that one is going to have it too. So, if one has a family history of osteoporosis, then one should really watch out for caffeine.

Knowing this all, one day I decided to take a bit of green tea; I mean its ok if I can have tea and coffee, right. :-) But soon enough, I was totally hooked onto Green tea. I don’t know what it was, but somehow Allah just made it easy for me to have this particular beverage.

Nowadays, I strive for an average 4 big mugs of green tea daily. I noticed that my skin has become very smooth and I have lost some weight. And, best of all, I can survive without any coffee. Alhamdulillah. :-)

I just read that the benefits of green tea are greatly reduced with sweetener, sugar or honey. Gasp! do I feel dumb or what!!! I take at least one sweetener per mug. I tried tapering it once yesterday but forgot to do so today. Now that I know this, I will try either one of these method of getting rid of the sweetener altogether:

Method 1-Take green tea with a bit of lemon

Method 2-Take green tea with half a sweetener and cardamon. The reason I use cardamon is because it available at home (mom loves it) and it adds really soothing scent to the green tea. Its like one is having green tea and meditating at the same time. Alhamdulillah.

After a week or perhaps more, I will try tapering the sweetener to less than half/mug and eventually get rid of it altogether inshaAllah.

Right now, just one thought is bugging me. “Arzoo! how are you going to take care of your sweet bud?” Panic is rising within, can’t breathe, got to have sweetener, yum. Haha! I have a craze for sweets. I used to go crazy on sweets in the past; I still do on the holidays but holidays are an exception. Every now and then, a bit of chocolate won’t harm but its best to decrease the sugar level per my mom. So, I think I will just have to rely on natural sugars that are easily available from fruits, inshaAllah.

Here are some advantages of green tea:

Weight Loss:

Green tea reduces the level of LDL (bad) cholesterol and triglycerides in the body.

It also helps to build up HDL (good) cholesterol level.

Green tea contains polyphenols called catechins that target the access fat cells and metabolize them. Scientific studies have shown that males who took 690 mg of catechins for 3 months, lost more weight (calories), had a lower BMI and smaller waist size than men who took 22 mg of catechins.

Recommended dose of catechins is at least 4 cups daily. The catechin content varies with the amount of green tea and steeping time.

Skin Care:

Green tea is very likely to decrease skin sag and development of wrinkles. This conclusion is based on a 2005 study that was conducted on 40 women with moderate photoaging. When histologic grading of the skin biopsies were examined, they showed a significant improvement in the elastic tissue content of the treated specimen.

The free radicals present in the green tea not only prevent against skin damage from sun, they also offer protection from skin cancer.

Boosts Immune System:

Due to its high concentration of flavonoids and polyphenols, green tea boosts the immune system.

Flavonoids are shown to have anti-allergic, ant-inflammatory, anti-tumor, anti-platelet and antioxidant activities.

Polyphenol antioxidants have many positive effects. One scientific study has shown that these molecules play a very important role in combating oxidative stress that leads to some cardiovascular and neurodegenerative diseases.

Other Benefits:

Green tea reduces high blood pressure by decreasing the amount of angiotensin II, a molecule responsible for high blood pressure.

It has anti-cancer effects due to the presence of catechins.

The green tea polyphenols and polysacchardies effectively reduce the blood sugar level. So, its good for people who have diabetes.

It has anti-viral effects

It prevents heart disease. A 2006 scientific study conducted in Tohoku University of Public Policy in Japan, showed that drinking 3.4 ounces of green tea daily decreases the risk of heart disease 22% in men and percent in women and by 31% in women.

Whoa! that’s a lot of benefits just from some simple beverage. Guess what is simple is not really that simple. :-) Alhamdulillah, I feel motivated to continue and better my green tea consumption. Do you?

References:

Green Tea Fights Fat

What Green Tea Can & Cannot Do For Your Skin

Benefits of Green Tea

The Benefits of Green Tea for Dieting

Study: Green Tea Prevents Heart Disease

Today, I walked 5080 steps. It was fun. The only thing I miss was not wearing comfortable shoes and not having a water bottle with me. I think I would have performed better if I wore proper shoes and carried a bottle of cold, soothing water. Good tips for next time inshaallah.

Do you know that regular brisk walking for 30 minutes on four to seven days a week will reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease,obesity, osteoporosis, some cancers and diabetes? I personally don’t walk regularly. I like to combine walking alongwith a number of other physical activities. But for starters, 30 minutes a day sounds cool.  I would recommend slowly increasing the time you dedicate to walking. Experts suggest that one should increase the length of walk by 10-20% to reach the recommended level of 30-60 minutes. For example, if you walked 20-minutes for the first week, try adding 2-4 more minutes for the next week. I used to do 20 minutes before and slowly increased it to an hour. Nowadays, I usually combine fast walking with jogging and running.

Here are some tips one should keep in mind while going out for a walk:

Getting Started:

1-Pick your destination: Do you like quite areas? Do you like looking areas with lots of grass, flowers and trees? Whichever route you choose, make sure that sidewalks/pathways are free of cracks to minimize your risk of falling.

2-Dress for Weather: Dress appropriately. During winter, make sure to wear clothing that won’t restrict your movement or breathing. Make sure to protect your skin and eyes during all seasons.

3-Wear Comfortable shoes: Make sure to wear comfortable running shoes.

4-Stretching: Make sure to stretch and warm up before walking. Also, stretch after walking. Make sure to hold the stretches for 10-20 minutes. Mobility exercises for the lower legs and the ankles are recommended. This is important for who haven’t been physically active regularly.

5-Walk Safely: Choose a safe and well-lit route; consider walking with others. Beaware of your surroundings. Remember to drink at least 150 mL of water (a little more than half a cup) every 15 to 20 minutes of walking.

6-Start gradually and build up: According to Canada’s Physical Activity Guide, one should accumulate 30 to 60 minutes of physical activity on most days of the week.

7- Schedule your Walking: Remember you owe it to yourself to remain healthy. Remind yourself that you have an appointment with yourself. Set your goal and go for it. I like keeping a time-table in front of my desk. On it, I have planned what kind of work-out I should be doing each day. There is yet another page, stuck on the wall, on which I record my progress. This allows me to monitor myself and see how far ahead I need to push myself to become better at what I do. Remember, staying active is beneficial for you esp. when you get old. So, don’t delay and start walking today. And if you fall down, stand up and walk again. I am just using a metaphor here. I mean to say, if you feel that you can’t do more than 20 minutes or hardly find time to do 30 minutes every day, or are missing some days of physical activity, then try again and again and again. Don’t give up. Just keep trying inshaAllah. :-)

Oh to measure how many steps you did, buy a podometer. My mom got me one for $20 from WalMart. To learn more about Podometers, see Podometer Directory.

For further information, see

Building the Walking Habit

10 Reasons to Walk Alone

Stepping Up Your Physical Activity

Just sharing. :-)

Later days

I am posting a revised version of “Knock Knock”. Do comment–which version you think is better.

KNOCK KNOCK

Dedicated : Mohammad, J.Z., Lam and other rare ones

 

Crushed soul

Crushed – for they drill a hole

Creating void, a black hole

 

 

 

 

 

 

Knock Knock

Who’s there?         

Victim

Of what?

(silence )

Victim of what?

(silence)

Prithee share, I won’t cut

 

Steely stares at my dress

Sense of seclusion they impress

Hijab, an issue they address

Us, they ignorantly oppress

Oh, a shallow look that regress

Me further into deeper stress

Sadness overcomes as I digress

This sorry situation; I must contest

 

 

 

Silence, I am silent

BUT, not acquiescent

 

 

 

Tolerating, finally I just had to

Let it out or simply stay blue

Wishing to find a cure, to undo

The damage done to moi, by you

For I am truly falling through

Listening to the lies you brew

Would you cure it, would you?

Answer me, in words that are true

 

 

 

Sethe’s chockcherry tree; what a mess

I carry one as well, oh yes

Beloved; sixty million and more…God bless!

Moi, another human; I must impress

We suffer at our own hands; I protest

Our weaknesses we must repress

Sostoris drew a blank card, I assess

A blank card people; just digress

 

Would you cure it, would you?

Answer me, in words that are true

By: Cercatore a.ka. Arzoo

You can view the the original version of Knock Knock, here.  

Sometimes like ashes of the dead

Sometimes, a mysterious fog

 

Sometimes like hidden pearls

Other times; a confusing labyrinth

 

A cold blanket with a snugly outlook

Ever extending and melting

 

Mysterious snow

Nature’s rebellious Queen

Peace and Blessings on you all

I came across this extremely intriguing website. It tells the story of how an atheist became a Muslim mashaAllah. I love how this individual was guided to Islam via Science, mashaAllah. Its an amazing website with amazing set of scientific opinions including viewpoints on time travel and 4-Dimensionalism. Do view it.

My Paradigm by Steve

First Excerpt from “So, what is infinity anyway?”
[Quote] “Infinity is not an amount or number, it is a concept. They do work with infinity as a number in calculus, and it provides some limited results, but thats working from axioms, that hardly proves infinity is a realistic amount or number. An amount, or number suggest some sort of limit. Infinity on the other hand suggests that there are no limits. In human history; we have never ever encountered anything that is truly infinite. Not a single thing, we have no reason to believe infinity exist within this universe. Some say space is infinitely big, but scientists disagree. Scientist say space, or our universe has a limited boundary. They do also say that that boundary is constantly expanding by the speed of light. But nevertheless, that still means that at any instant, space has a limited size, rather then an infinite one.

What about infinitely small? Existence of infinitely small things -and this is how infinity occurs most in math- is based on the assumption objects can be infinitely divided into smaller components. However most objects lose their qualities after division. If you cut an A4 paper into two halves, you can fold a plain with one half. If you then cut the remainder half in two halves again, you could fold a plain with the quarter piece, and so one. After a few cuts, you’ll find that paper loses it’s quality: “foldable into plain”. The world of the very small isn’t the same as the world we experience. An amoeba for example, hardly experiences any gravity. To it, if it were conscious, going upwards is similar as to going downwards. The surface tension however, plays a much stronger role in it’s life as opposed to our lives.

Which brings me to another example of characteristics not being intrinsic to the smallest parts of an object. If you cut a water drop into two halves you have two drops, you can do this and eventually end up with several droplets; but after a while, water will no longer form drops anymore. To understand why, consider the surface tension. Water consists of H2O molecules. these molecules are slightly polar. The O-atom pulls on the electrons of the covalent bind harder then the H-atoms do. This makes the O-side of the molecule delta negative, and the H-side delta positive. (Delta, since it’s only a fraction of a negative unit). This causes a forcefield in between different molecules that creates tension at the surface of the liquid. So from the moment there aren’t enough molecules anymore, the tension isn’t strong enough to form a droplet. A single molecule has no surface tension at all, and if you divide the molecule into atoms, even the delta charges will disappear.

Now, getting back on topic of infinity small parts. who is to say divisibility is a characteristic that is always held by the smaller parts? Who is to say that any object is infinitely dividable?” [End Quote]

Second Excerpt from “Earliest Memories of the Church”

[Quote] My father was an atheist, and my mom is a non-practicing Catholic. Which basically means she believes a God exists, goes to church for wedding and funerals, but it ends there. Neither of our parents tried to push their believes up to my sister and I, and we were free to believe whatever we wanted. We did however both attend Catholic schools, simply because the quality of it is so much higher compared to state schools. On weekends that we slept over at out grandparents’ house however, we had to go to church on Sunday. And in the beginning I was open minded to religion and willing to believe, but as time progressed I got more and more skeptical realizing the flaws in Catholicism. I didn’t see any reasons to believe either, no indications of God’s existence, no proofs. And if you can’t believe your doctor’s word with your health, and you can’t trust your mother with giving you food, why should I trust a priest telling me what to believe? Intuitively I realized the word “God” had little meaning without omnipotence and omniscience, although I wasn’t familiar with those fancy words, but I did know if there was a God, he should be able to know and do anything, or else the word God had little meaning. I think I must have been around the age of six sitting in church one Sunday morning thinking: “O god, if you truly exist, prove it by letting that lamp fall down, or maybe let a bird fly against the window? Just any sign, an answer.”
Off course nothing happened no organpipe jams, no crucifix falling nor priest slipping. I realized however that God wouldn’t necesairly have an obligation to answer. So in a last desperate attempt to get some response I thought:
“If you can’t give me a reason, I really don’t see the point of following your rules. I guess I’ll just choose not to believe then until you decide to come out of hiding …”
Obviously there still wasn’t any answer.

As years passed, this choice kind of grew on me. Its a circular paradigm [End Quote]

See, he writes so well, mashaallah. May Allah bless him so much.
Take care everyone

Peace and Blessings

Plunging in the snow

She walked alone-

Forever

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